Any man with a wife is used to listening to orders. So when one (or was it all?) of my exes used to ‘order’ me to quit drinking coffee in the morning I would plead: ‘But then I’ll have to drink my bourbon straight!’
No doubt the whole fifth.
At that she would look at me sort of cockeyed — or, at least, after my third cup she/they always seemed that way — and snort: ‘You’ll get used to it…’
Hmm… Another devious devil in a red flannel nightgown.
And sometimes I used to challenge the female Lucifer to a wrasslin’ match. With the loser giving up coffee and the winner giving-up ‘sum’. Trouble is, when you wrassle a gorilla you can’t quit when you’re tired. You can only quit when she’s tired.
And without my coffee I am always tired.
Hmm… I think I have a problem…
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